On November 23, 1991, Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" hit number one on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart. It was my sixteenth birthday.
Aside from providing the requisite "year zero" milestone that seems to kick off every autobiographical musing on pop music, I mention it mainly because the ensuing eight years saw a massive explosion – and the inevitable contraction – in "alternative" rock (more on what that means in a minute). Nirvana's success is rightfully considered the prime catalyst in alternative's mainstream breakthrough (not to mention its mainstreaming, in the pejorative sense). 1991 was, to borrow a phrase from Dave Markey's landmark documentary, "the year punk broke." In addition to "killing off" hair metal, the rise of the Alternative Nation led to the creation of Lollapalooza, briefly made "modern rock" radio the most lucrative format in every major market, and eventually gave us Empire Records, Manic Panic, and Hot Topic.
This is the part when I'm supposed to piss and moan about how "bloated" and "corporate" everything got. Well first of all, that would make me a massive hypocrite. From roughly 1989 until, say, 1994, I was listening almost exclusively to Los Angeles's KROQ and San Diego's 91X. By 1994 I had made the transition to college radio (mainly KALX in Berkeley, where I was also a DJ), but I still listened San Francisco's Live 105. I'd love to pretend I spent high school tracking down Wire bootlegs and Hüsker Dü 7"s, but I didn't. I may have loved The Pixies, The Stone Roses, and The Smiths, but I also really liked Jesus Jones, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, School of Fish, Stone Temple Pilots, and EMF. During alternative's ascendancy, modern rock radio was usually how I found out about new bands. I'll give you the perfect example. I saw P.I.L. twice in high school. But the second time was in late 1991, as part of the MTV 120 Minutes Tour with Blind Melon, Live, and Big Audio Dynamite II. And after P.I.L., I'm pretty sure I was most excited to see Live.
This is all just a meandering, long-winded segue into the topic I really want to get to. In the wake of Nirvana's big break, major record labels started scooping up so-called alternative bands by the armful, and MTV suddenly had scores of bands in heavy rotation featuring spiky, multicolored hair, striped sweaters, and some degree of affected ennui. In addition to major-label deals for such venerable acts as Mudhoney, Sonic Youth, and Dinosaur Jr., untested neophytes like Veruca Salt and Weezer were signed to huge contracts…with varying levels of success. The inevitable result of this alternative-music buying spree was a huge spate of bands that had one good single in them and little else. This one-hit-wonder syndrome is certainly nothing new. Just look at the new wave "new British invasion" (to use John Doe's phrase) of the early 1980s. (Ironically, the very bands that Doe sees suffering at the hands of these big-haired synth invaders in "I Must Not Think Bad Thoughts"—Minutemen, Black Flag, etc.—would eventually become the godfathers of the next modern-rock "revolution": Mike Watt, Henry Rollins, Thurston Moore, et al.)
Just as it was once unthinkable that a paranoid android like Gary Numan would have a huge stateside hit on his hands, suddenly MTV and major-market airwaves were glutted with "mopey" alterna-kids. Of course, as with A Flock of Seagulls and Men Without Hats, the music was basically catchy pop subsumed within an "edgy" look. I mean, there's nothing groundbreaking about Better Than Ezra and Blind Melon, but, for better or worse, they were among the standard bearers of the increasingly oxymoronic "alternative" sound.
So let's consider the post-Nirvana alternative rock one-hit wonder. To do so, I think we should stick with a fairly rigid set of criteria. We'll say the hit in question had to be released post-"...Teen Spirit" (so after September of 1991). And MTV cannot be the sole arbiter of "alternative"; the song must have been on heavy modern-rock or alternative radio rotation. (That gets rid of non-alternative bands like Blues Traveler, Spin Doctors, Duncan Sheik, Jill Sobule, Eagle Eye Cherry, etc.) We'll also say that bands with more than one legitimate hit are out. (I will not define "hit" too rigidly. A hit is like pornography; I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.) So there goes Smashmouth, Silverchair, 311, Sublime, Sugar Ray, Cake, The Wallflowers, and Toad the Wet Sprocket, who all inexplicably managed to produce multiple hits.
Alternative rock one-hit wonders come in many shapes and sizes: There's the classic here today, gone tomorrow one-hitter (Harvey Danger, Marcy Playground, New Radicals); the well-respected band that only crossed over once, but still has/had lots of indie cred (Nada Surf, Eels, The Cardigans, The Folk Implosion, The Rentals); the venerable but unmarketable band who inexplicably had one big hit (most notably The Butthole Surfers, with "Pepper"); the band that's big overseas but could only produce once in the States (The Verve,
Needless to say we're gonna do us some listin' hereabouts! Why? Well I woke up the other morning with an intense desire to hear Len's "If You Steal My Sunshine," and next thing I knew a list was taking shape. Apropos of nothing, basically.
And so, without further ado, *bitter defeat* presents…
Late 1991
"Girlfriend" – Matthew Sweet (Such an awesome anime-filled video)
"Rush" – Big Audio Dynamite II (video)
1992
"Move Any Mountain" – The Shamen (video)
"Pretend We're Dead" – L7 (video, live in Rio, 1993)
"Nearly Lost You" – Screaming Trees (video)
"Dyslexic Heart" – Paul Westerberg (video)
"Hunger Strike" – Temple of the Dog (An older song, but re-released to cash in on the whole grunge thing.) (MP3) (video)
1993
"Hey Jealousy" – Gin Blossoms (Embarrassing confession: I saw the Gin Blossoms before they were big. The embarrassing part? They were opening for Toad the Wet Sprocket.) (MP3) (video)
"Laid" – James (MP3) (video)
"Cannonball" – The Breeders (MP3) (Sweet-ass Spike Jones video)
"Runaway Train" – Soul Asylum (video)
"Fade into You" – Mazzy Star (MP3) (video)
"Pets" – Porno for Pyros (I know, this one's dodgy. See the Everlast entry below. Grat song and cool video, though.)
"I'd Walk (500 Miles)" – The Proclaimers (MP3) (Painfully Benny & Joon-tastic video)
"Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe" – Whale (I actually saw this band open for Blur at Bimbo's in San Francisco) (video)
"No Rain" – Blind Melon (Originally released in 1992, but only charted upon its '93 re-release) (Goddamn inescapable Bee-Girl video)
"Low" – Cracker (MP3) (Cool b&w boxing video)
"What's Up" – 4 Non-Blondes (So many horrible goggles and dreadlocks in this video)
"Feed the Tree" – Belly (video)
1994
"Connection" – Elastica (MP3) (video)
"Seether" – Veruca Salt (video)
"Good" – Better than Ezra (God this song is irritating. So is this video.)
"A Girl Like You" – Edwyn Collins (How did the man behind Orange Juice end up making this video?)
"Cumbersome" – Seven Mary Three (This video has one hell of a mustache in it.)
"Stay (I Missed You)" – Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories (Look at her in her cute little glasses!)
"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" – Crash Test Dummies (I want to kill everyone in this video.)
"Mother" – Danzig (Not sure this counts… could be considered some form of metal. Perhaps "washed-up metal?") (Greatest video of all time!!!!)
1995
"Natural One" – The Folk Implosion (video)
"Lump" – The Presidents of the U.S.A. (No, their Buggles cover from the Wedding Singer soundtrack doesn't count as a hit.) (Swampy video) (**UPDATE** Oops, forgot about "Peaches," the follow-up single that actually made it to #29 on the charts. Still, most one-hit wonders do have a second single on the charts. It's just that people forget all about them.)
"In the Meantime" – Spacehog (MP3) (video)
"Friends of P" – The Rentals (MP3) (Did this video always have Russian subtitles??)
"Lovefool" – The Cardigans (video)
"More Human than Human" – White Zombie (Way before The Devil's Rejects, Bobby Zombie was directing his own videos.)
"One of Us" – Joan Osborne (video)
"Santa Monica" – Everclear (I insanely love this song. I bought this album on translucent green vinyl. I also love the video.)
"Ready to Go" – Republica (Car commercial or video?)
1996
"Novocaine for the Soul" – Eels (video)
"Pepper" – Butthole Surfers (One of the best videos of the entire decade. Gibby Haines and Erik Estrada in the same place!)
"Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand" – Primitive Radio Gods (Possibly the most annoying chorus of the decade.) (video)
"Counting Blue Cars" – Dishwalla (video)
"How Bizarre" – OMC (…unless this had the most annoying chorus of the decade.) (video
"Scooby Snacks" – Fun Lovin' Criminals (video)
"Naked Eye" – Luscious Jackson (video)
"Popular" – Nada Surf (MP3) (video)
1997
"Sex & Candy" – Marcy Playground (MP3) (video)
"Bitter Sweet Symphony" – The Verve (Watch a supremely ugly Richard Ashcroft push people around in the video.)
"All for You" – Sister Hazel (MP3) (This video is almost as bad as the sub-Counting Crows song.)
"The Impression that I Get" – Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Most irritating band of the decade? They're certainly on the list.) (video)
"The Freshmen" – The Verve Pipe (video)
"Semi-Charmed Life" – Third Eye Blind (video
"Tubthumping" – Chumbawumba (Everyone's favorite anarchist collective shows off their interesting eyeglasses in the video.)
"6 Underground" – Sneaker Pimps (And an entire decade of hair-care-product commercials gained a soundtrack!) (video)
"Hell" – Squirrel Nut Zippers (Remember swing? Swing was so money for approximately 27 minutes! It was such a Zoot Suit Riot! Just look at this video.)
1998
"Closing Time" – Semisonic (I admit it, this song is a huge guilty pleasure.) (video)
"Flagpole Sitta" – Harvey Danger (MP3) (This song is just a pleasure. It's also one of the greatest distillations of what made the '90s such a bullshit decade: "I wanna publish zines / And rage against machines / I wanna pierce my tongue / It doesn't hurt it feels fine… The agony and the irony are killing me!" The video's pretty damn funny as well.)
"What It's Like" – Everlast (A bunch of my friends insist this was a hit. I have no memory of it. Also, I was conflicted: if Porno for Pyros' "Pets" doesn't count because Jane's Addiction had some hits, then Everlast should be ineligible because of House of Pain's "Jump Around." Screw it. I'll just add "Pets" instead. Anyway, here's the video.)
"One Week" – Barenaked Ladies (Enter a decade of fast-food commercials. I hate this song to the core of my soul. video)
"Torn" – Natalie Imbruglia (She used to have sex with Lenny Kravitz. Not in this video, though.)
1999
"If You Steal My Sunshine" – Len (MP3) (I also love this song to death. On the other hand, the video, which includes rampant scooter driving and fun having, inspires immediate dislike.)
"You Get What You Give" – New Radicals (In a symbolic end to all things even remotely alternative, teen music returns to the mall forever. This may not be Christian music, but it certainly sounds like Christian music. Hip, with-it Christian music. Jesus is, like, totally awesome!!)
"Kiss Me" – Sixpence None the Richer (And, at the end of it all, the nerdy girl throws off any semblance of individuality. She has finally succumbed to the imperatives of the marketplace, and she descends the staircase into the soul-killing embrace of Freddie Prinze, Jr. So endeth the 1990s. This about sums it up. Also, did you know this band is from Texas? With that name?)
1999 was a hard call, as the entire notion of "alternative" had become so hopelessly bound up with mainstream rock that bands like Kid Rock, Staind, P.O.D., System of a Down, Limp Bizkit, Sevendust, Buckcherry, and Orgy had become "modern rock" staples. Also, I freely admit that once I had to start dealing with these bands, I couldn't a) separate the one-hit wonders from the truly successful rap-rock monsters; or b) tell most of these bands apart at all. Who the hell can tell the difference between Godsmack, Creed, Staind, and Korn?
